Category: TRAVEL

“You’re right, Isis,” Mercury agreed, “What a comeback!  I almost can’t believe it and I’m right here watching it!  Jane looks like a new person.  They must have had a lead pipe in the restroom and she decided to use it for a backbone. Look at her grab up her carry-ons and lead Bill to the ground transportation area.  And her attitude is a tonic to him, too.  This is an amazing couple.”

Jane stopped at an accommodations board and picked up the handset.  Demeter watched her press buttons, but as Mercury had predicted there was nothing available. Demeter wondered what she could do to help them out.

Suddenly Mercury said, “OMZ! You’re not going to believe who’s here.”

“Someone’s come to help?” Zeus asked.

“Well, I think so.  Your wife’s here.”

“Hera?”

“Do you have another one?”

“Of course not! I just didn’t know she watched.” Demeter leaned forward, wishing Hera had invited her along.

Isis warned, “This may not be good.  There’s a chance Hera doesn’t realize we’ve passed midnight. She could think they’re prankable.”

“I’m concerned too, Isis,” Zeus admitted, “She may be my wife, but she’s not always helpful.  What happens if Hera pranks them even though the score is above one thousand?”

“That’s never happened,” Isis said, “Our judges would have to make a ruling. The game might be over.”

Hera, wearing a divine cloak of invisibility, walked up next to Jane and began to hum in her ear. Bill took the handset from his wife and began to try more locations.  Jane pursed her mouth and squinted her eyes.  Then she began hum.  Suddenly she was singing 1-800-HOLIDAY, Holiday Inn’s radio jingle.

Jane found a payphone and dialed the number she had just sung.  Bill stood by as she said, “I don’t care how many of the hotels are full. Your job is to tell me the closest one with a room.  Then I can decide whether I want it or not.” The co-anchors and the correspondent began to clap as Jane reserved a room.

Mercury said, “What a save!  The numbers on the tote board are spinning.  I’m going to talk to Hera before she disappears back to Olympus.” He flew to Hera’s side, “Yoo hoo!  Queen Hera!  Wait a moment!  Our audience is dying to hear from you.”

“OK, Mercury, but make it quick. I’ve got to get back to a Mah Jongg game.”

“I will, Your Highness.  I just want to tell you what an amazing play that was.  What prompted you to come to the rescue of Bill and Jane?”

“You’ve heard about the Europa incident, haven’t you?”

Looking very embarrassed Mercury said, “Well yes. It’s the buzz of Olympus, but what does that have to do with Jagged Journeys?”

“Well, as I played Mah Jongg with a few friends, the scrying bowl was on in the background. When Zeus bragged about his storm for the umpteenth time, I thought he needed someone to take him down a peg or two – and who would be better at it than me.” She smiled sweetly to Mercury, “May I say a little something to him?”

“Of course, Your Highness

“Good night, Honey.  Nanny nanny poo poo.  This couple won’t be turning back if I can help it.”

Demeter began to laugh out loud.  No wonder she put up with Hera’s incessant whining.  Zeus signed off quickly, letting the audience know there wouldn’t be any more coverage until the next day.

Demeter fast forwarded to live scrying and served dinner. Throughout the meal, Persephone kept up her litany of complaints, so the mother was glad to finish the meal and close the door on her whining daughter.  After cleaning up the kitchen, she plopped down on the sofa with the latest copy of Gods’ Magazine to see what the celebrities were wearing.

Before long, Zeus was back. “Hello, it’s Zeus.  Our lines are so overloaded with calls the circuits have jammed. Please bear with us while we make repairs.  In the meantime, here’s the latest from Philadelphia.”

“Thanks,” Mercury said from the screen behind Zeus. “Just a few moments ago, the flight attendants herded everyone back to their seats.  The plane pulled away from the gate and quickly taxied to the runway.  Then immediately, the pilot cut back on the engines.   That’s when tears came to Jane’s eyes.  Moments later, the pilot revved the plane again and began picking up speed for takeoff – but it was too late. Jane was all in.  I don’t think Bill realizes she’s crying.  He’s reading and she’s turned toward the window.

“Crying costs points,” Zeus reminded the audience.

“Even if she knew, I don’t think it would make any difference.  She’s only human,” Isis lamented.

Demeter went to clean her face and get ready for bed.  She was tired, but there was no way she’d be able to nod off until she knew whether Bill and Jane made it to their next flight.  It wouldn’t take long for them to get to New York.  Then she could sleep.

She was back on the sofa when Zeus said, “Hello weary gods and goddesses.  Welcome back to Jagged Journeys. It’s nearly midnight in the States and our travelers have just landed in New York.  How are things going, Mercury?”

“Not very well.  They’re just beginning to deplane and they’ve lost a lot of points, even though it was a very short flight. Hunger’s making them edgy and fatigue is taking a toll,” then Mercury said, “Oh no!”

On the screen Eris, Greek Goddess of Chaos, Strife and Discord, drove a baggage cart and had Bacchus as a passenger. The deities conferred with the real baggage handlers and made up some excuse for being there, even though their cart was from another airline.  The real handlers nodded in agreement.  The mischievous pair started selecting bags as they came off the plane. The selections seemed random, but Demeter noticed they didn’t miss a single one of the Sadek’s bags.  Then just as they started to drive away, Eris let out a sinister cackle and tossed a hang-up bag back onto the conveyer.  A close-up of the tag proved it was Bill and Jane’s.

Zeus asked, “Why this turnaround for Bacchus, Mercury?  He helped them in Philadelphia.”

“It seems to me he’s had a few drinks since then. He may not even realize these are the same passengers,” Mercury explained.

“Could you tell where they’re headed with the luggage?”

“No, it was too dark. I didn’t know those luggage carts could go so fast!”

 The scene changed to the baggage claim area and Demeter thought it ironic the hang-up bag Eris tossed away was the first piece of luggage out of the chute. Bill grabbed it and put it with the carry-ons. Bill continued to look hopefully at every bag that came around. A few steps away, Jane hung on to a pay phone. As the conveyor rolled to a stop a collective groan rose from the crowd. Not one of them had gotten more than a portion of their luggage off the flight.

Zeus observed, “Eris and Bacchus didn’t take enough bags to disappoint all these people.  The airline must have routed some of the bags to the wrong flight.”

“Mercury, has Jane reached anyone?” Isis asked.

“She’s on hold. She spoke to several people without getting much information.” On the screen, Mercury disappeared and Bill dragged their small pile of luggage over near the phones.  She covered the mouthpiece and asked where the rest of it was.  He just shook his head.  Before she could ask more questions, she returned her attention back to the phone. Then she slowly hung up the phone, shaking her head.

Mercury re-appeared and said, “I just flew over to the other airport.  The flight pulled away from the gate while Jane was on the phone with someone in the terminal.  There’s no way they can meet up with their friends on this side of the Atlantic.’

Jane headed to the ladies room and Bill waited by the phones. Demeter thought he was probably too tired to do anything else. Just then an airline employee came out and announced to the crowd the luggage mess wouldn’t be resolved until the next day. There weren’t enough personnel on hand to take all the claims before the airport closed. The man handed cards to whomever wanted one, including Bill.

“What are they going to do, Mercury?” Zeus asked. 

Mercury replied, “What can they do?  The way your storm tore up the skies, every hotel room in the area is full. There are no rental cars and only a few taxies.  Who knows if they would even be allowed to sleep in the terminal? This was the last flight in for the night.”

Zeus preened, “It was one of my better storms, wasn’t it?”

“No doubt a…” Isis began and then asked, “Wait, what time is it?”

“The clock just rolled to midnight here,” Mercury said.

“Then start adding points to the tote board,” Isis said, “because we’re gonna have listeners out there who want to help. Just look at Jane!”

The harvest goddess hated how long it took humans to get from one place to the other.  Why couldn’t Zeus just arrange for them to pop back and forth like the gods did?  While the plane was in the air, she decided to start dinner, her daughter, Persephone, would be joining her.  The rest of the togas could wait until the contestants were in New York.

She tossed a salad and put a casserole in the oven.  Fresh strawberries were in the fridge and she had banana sorbet in the freezer.  As she set the table she heard Zeus say, “Hello gods and goddesses.  Welcome back to Jagged Journeys.”

Mercury reported things on the ground were as crazy as they were in the air.  Jane thought she was missing a limousine ride and welcome party, but all the flights were so mixed up the bride threw her plans to the wind and ferried guests around in taxis.  Jane’s complaints lost them a few points, but her ability to pull everything from playing cards to snacks out of her carry-on kept their score almost even.

Isis reported, “All told, our contestants are ready for some help at one thousand fifteen points, but there’s not much we can do while they’re in the air.”

“That’s the way this cookie crumbles, Isis.” Zeus said and then asked, “Mercury, any hint of an arrival time?”

“Unfortunately Zeus, things look better to the passengers than they actually are.  There’s one of those breaks you promised in the weather, so they’re looking out on a clear sky in New York; but, the plane is quickly running out of fuel. I heard in the cockpit that if we don’t land in the next few minutes, they’ll have to go somewhere else.”

Isis said, “How disappointing!  Where will they go?”

 “No way to know ahead of time, Isis,” the Messenger God replied, “but now it’s official.  The pilot just announced the flight’s rerouting to Philadelphia.”

When Persephone arrived, she caught Demeter in front of the scrying bowl, “Good grief Mother, are you reduced to watching reality broadcasting?”

“Oh hush.  Just because you live in the underworld is no reason to be such a downer. It’s Jagged Journeys.  Don’t you want to see what your father’s doing?”

“You know I haven’t forgiven him for that whole pomegranate thing.”

“I can’t believe you.  That wasn’t his fault.  Zeus sent Hermes into Hades after you. Then you turned around and ate the pomegranate.” 

“That’s what I mean. There’s always some kind of trick with him. First he sells me off in marriage to that necrophiliac and then there’s the pomegranate. Why couldn’t he just leave me alone?”

“You know I was frantic about you when you disappeared. He immediately regretted the marriage contract and that’s why he sent Hermes.  What’s a big brother to do when his little sister is so upset?”

“Well, most big brothers don’t have daughters by their little sisters – or by their daughters either.  How is Aunt Hera, by the way?”

“You quit being sassy.  Things were different back then. You and Hera sound just alike.”

“Fine, what’s daddy up to now?”

Demeter giggled a little and said, “Mommy, too, in this case.”  She aimed the remote at the scrying bowl and backed up the action. “Watch this.  The passengers were redirected to Philadelphia, but the terminal was being remodeled, so everything was boarded up.”

When Demeter found the frame she wanted, Zeus was saying, “So they haven’t eaten anything all day besides airline peanuts and cookies from Jane’s carry-on.  How are they going to get anything in a closed terminal?”

“Actually, a divine team has pulled together for this rescue,” Mercury said, “Artemis, Greek Goddess of the Hunt, Demeter, in her role as Goddess of Barley, and a Roman god, Bacchus, are going to help our contestants.  Bacchus is posing as a pushcart vendor in a neighboring concourse and the two goddesses provided the food.”

Persephone complained, “I can’t believe you wasted your harvest on this sort of thing.”

“Watch what happens!”

In the gate area, Bill said to Jane, “Look at these lines.  I’ll never get to call the office.”

“You should have brought your cell phone.”

“Are you kidding?  The roaming charges are ridiculous and it wouldn’t do us any good in Europe, anyway. They have a different platform.”

“I bet someday you’ll be able to use your mobile phones wherever you are, but what should we do now?  I have a sugar high from all the cookies and I’m still starving.”

“Well, we’re going to be stuck here for awhile.  We might as well see what we can find.”

As the humans wandered through the empty terminal, Jane repeatedly voiced her concern  the flight would take off without them, but Bill forged on through the forsaken hallways.  Eventually they happened on to the pushcart where Bacchus was arguing with another customer. 

 The contestants could barely contain their joy at the sight of food.  Bill got in line and Jane guarded their pile of carry-ons, but he came back with only one hot dog and a soda.

“One hot dog?  I’m starving,” Jane complained.  “This is barely an appetizer.”

“Honey, it cost nine dollars!”

“For this? A dry hot dog and a lukewarm Pepsi?”

“We’ll be leaving soon and surely we’ll find something to eat in New York.”

“You’re right. We can’t blow the budget before we even get out of the States,” Jane mumbled through a mouthful.

“That’s my girl.  Let’s see if the line for the phone is better,” Bill said, taking the hot dog from her. They wolfed down the food and headed back to the gate.

Persephone started to say something and Demeter waved for her to stay quiet.

“Our judges are having a difficult time with this segment of the game,” Isis said, “Some believe Bill and Jane should’ve stayed near the gate, as they were instructed.  Others want to give them points for finding Bacchus’ food cart.  Looks like Jane’s willingness to cooperate has helped. They just added twenty-five more points.”

Zeus said, “Kudos to Bacchus and the goddesses for coming to the aid of our travelers.  Wasn’t he a scream in that apron? I’m really going to have to give him a hard time at the next org…uh, I mean symposium.”

“Look they walked right up to the phone without having to wait.  Who are they calling Mercury?” Isis asked.

“Their first call was to their home phone.  There were several messages from Tammy, most of which were upbeat, but the last one didn’t sound very hopeful.  She left a phone number for them to contact in the morning, if they don’t make the flight to Germany.

“What a blow!  How did they take it?”

“Without blinking they dialed information and got the number for the transatlantic airline. Their flight is still delayed. See how they’re glowing with hope. Not much to do now, except wait.”

The screen focused on a mid-sized sedan pulling up to a curb. Mercury narrated, “They’ve just pulled into the departure area.  The elderly couple in the front seat is Jane’s parents. Our travelers earned fifty points for getting a free ride. For such an auspicious start, I arranged for their first flight to go without a hitch.”

On the screen behind the co-anchors, Bill and the driver scrambled to get the luggage to the curbside check-in, as Jane hugged her mother farewell. “No points here,” Mercury announced, “They’ve brought three huge suitcases and an enormous hanging bag. Both contestants have carry-ons to boot.  They’ll never be able to keep up with it all. That’s five points down.” The scrying bowl showed the couple gathering up their carry-on items and heading towards an elevator. Mercury added, “Uh oh, major foul!  Bill didn’t tip the skycap.  That will cost them five hundred points.”

Behind Isis, Jane leaned over to peck Bill’s cheek as they rode up the elevator. Ignoring the affection gesture, Zeus rubbed his hands together with glee. “That’s a tough break so early in the game.”

 “The score is just over six hundred,” Mercury reported, “a mighty low number for the beginning of the game.  They don’t even qualify for help.” Demeter noted that his lean runner’s body wasn’t quite as lean as it used to be.  The lack of worshippers was taking its toll on all of them.  Someday they might cease to exist. 

“Oh look!” Isis called, “They went through security without a hitch.  That puts them at seven-o-five.”

Zeus said, “Yes it does, but they’re going to need all the points they can get to make it through my storm.”

Delighted with the new contestants, Demeter continued watching until they boarded their plane. Then she turned over to DNN, the Deity News Network, since it was time for Celebrity, the gossip magazine. She wondered if they’d have anything to say about a burgeoning romance between Isis and Zeus, but there was nothing new.

Munching grapes, Demeter flipped through the channels, browsing what was available.  She returned to Jagged Journeys, just as Zeus asked Mercury, “Why are you in Chicago? I thought our contestants were headed to New York.”

“Well, Zeus, they’re not exactly flying direct.  The bride-to-be is a flight attendant and she used her miles for their tickets, routing everyone through a series of connecting flights.”

Isis protested, “But Mercury, you arranged for their first flight to go smoothly.  Has something gone awry?”

“Oh, the first flight was fine,” Mercury assured her, “Our contestants deplaned and are looking at the departure board, but watch Jane’s face.  She’ll soon realize their next flight was cancelled.”

“How did that happen?” Isis wanted to know.  “They’ve been model travelers since the skycap incident!  And their points are climbing!”

Zeus said, “Isis, you’re forgetting one of the most exciting things about Jagged Journeys.  We may have to wait for the points get below five hundred to cause trouble, but the airlines are free agents.  They decided to cancel the flight to New York without our influence.”

“That’s right, Zeus,” Mercury said.

“Look at that, Jane’s complaints devoured one hundred points, but Bill gave such an encouraging reply he won the points right back,” Isis said.

Demeter decided to keep watching while she ironed a few togas.  The task was so arduous that she’d only finished the first one when she heard Mercury say, “Classic airline frustration, Zeus and Isis!  Manipulating statistics for advertising advantage.  This airline loves to brag about ‘on time flights,’ but everyone knows they tweak the numbers.”

A glance inside the plane showed some passengers standing in the aisles chatting, while others fidgeted in their seats.  “I don’t see this often. They’ve been stuck out there so long the pilot gave them permission to move about the cabin.” Suddenly, Mercury’s voice changed, “Okay, the story is developing as we speak.  The pilot revved the engines and told the passengers to sit down. Even now the plane is beginning to taxi. Zeus, how’s that storm in New York?”

Demeter read a love of mischief in Zeus’s eyes, “I’ve planned some breaks in the storm, but only brief ones.  It’ll be dusk before the storm finally moves west. Let’s leave our passengers in the air at nine hundred and one points, but stay tuned, because we’ll be back.”

Hera’s palace had several scrying bowls, but for Demeter, multiple devices just weren’t in the budget, so she needed to get rid of Hera.  Ever since the number of worshippers fell off a millennium or so ago, things had been tight. She made do by performing all her far-seeing in this one bowl, but Hera, who droned on with her suspicions about Zeus’ latest infidelity, could still watch the show as she whined. Demeter didn’t want to miss the show, even if her brother was sleeping with his co-host.

As soon as the queen took a breath, Demeter said, “You’re a paragon of virtue, Hera, and my brother doesn’t know how to keep his loin cloth tied.”

“And you, more than others, can appreciate that fact.” Demeter grimaced, just as Hera had intended. What’s a little incest at the beginning of time? Hera wasn’t even in the picture then.

 Ignoring the barb, Demeter asked, “Do you watch his travel show?”

Hera’s disdain skewed her face. “I saw a few episodes last season, but surely, you don’t watch it.”

“Yes, I do, and it’s about to come on.” Demeter could hear the intro music to Jagged Journeys in the background, so she knew the queen was watching.

“Then I better let you go.”  As Hera’s face disappeared, Demeter tuned into the game show and settled back onto her chaise lounge. Her brother, sitting behind a marble desk with his co-anchor, Isis, replaced the queen on the surface of the water.  Projected on a screen behind them Mercury, Roman Messenger God, fluttered his ankle wings to stay afloat.  In the corner of the screen were the words, “Live from Dallas-Ft. Worth International Airport.”

Zeus grinned at his audience and said, “Good morning and thank you for tuning into this new episode Jagged Journeys.  I’m your Host and King, Zeus, Greek God of Sky and Thunder.  My co-host is Isis, Egyptian Patroness of Nature and Magic.” Turning towards her he asked, “What’s in store for us this morning, Isis?”

“Today Mercury is in Texas. He’s chosen two random travelers – and as our returning fans know, you’re about to shake up their itinerary.”

“Yes, I’ve got a humdinger of a storm brewing in the Northeastern United States and, as our previous seasons have proven,” Zeus beamed his white teeth towards his audience, “my storms can really upset a journey.” He turned back to Isis, “Why don’t you remind the audience of the way our game works?”

“OK, Zeus.  At the beginning of each game, Mercury goes to an airport, somewhere in the world, and randomly chooses travelers to act as our unwitting participants.  The only qualifying factor is an itinerary through a storm you’ve generated.  Then we follow the contestants to their destination and see how your storm affects their plans.”

“But I’m not the only one who gets a crack at them, am I, Isis?”

“No Zeus, you’re not,” she said with a brilliant smile. “Any deity can use their powers to help the contestants or hinder them. It depends on the score.  Each day of travel, one thousand grace points are awarded and then points are added or subtracted according to the contestants’ actions and attitudes.  As long as the points stay above one thousand, the contestants qualify for help, but when they fall below five hundred, they are at the mercy of any prank a deity chooses to play.”

“And that’s how the game is played” Zeus said.  Demeter didn’t like his new hairstyle.  All those stiff tufts looked ridiculous on him.  Next he’d be getting a tattoo. Wouldn’t Hera pitch a fit over that!  Especially if it was a crocodile or a hippo. He continued with a warm smile for Isis, “Go ahead and introduce our new contestants.”

“Well, Zeus, Mercury chose Bill and Jane Sadek,” Isis explained, “a couple of newlyweds traveling to Germany for the wedding of their friends, Tammy and Ludgar.  They’ll have to travel through New York City to get to Germany, and with your storm, it’ll be quite a challenge.”

“Yes, it will, Isis.” Turning back to the audience, but speaking to Mercury, Zeus said, “Hello Wing-ed One, what’s happening in the Lone Star State.”

“Good morning Zeus, I think we’re about to embark on the jaggedest journey ever!  Bill and Jane have just returned from their own halcyonic Hawaiian honeymoon, but we get to see what happens when they experience a little more difficulty on someone else’s.”

“Wait! Did I hear you right?  Our participants aren’t just on their way to a wedding; they’re also going on the honeymoon?”

“That’s right Zeus!  Our contestants and several other guests will be joining Tammy and Ludgar as they tour Germany and Austria.  In fact, about twenty folks are flying into both New York airports today and they plan to fly to Frankfurt this very evening.  What a recipe for disaster!”

“Well, Mercury, I think you’re right.  This certainly has all the makings of a jagged journey.”