The Long & Winding Road of Friendship

MEMORY MAKING: BETWEEN A ROCK & A HARD PLACE IN PISMO BEACH

Deja Vu All Over Again

Though we hated to leave our glamorous digs in Huntington Beach, it was time to head up the road to see other good friends in the Pismo Beach area. The day was uneventful until we decided to get off Highway 1 and take a scenic backroad. Then it was deja vu all over again.

My plan was to meet Deni in an Orcutt coffee shop called Plenty on Bell and then drive on to Pismo for dinner with, let’s call them, A & B. Dinner is something you have around 7:30, right? Well, A & B had decided, since we’d seen them last, that it’s at 5. Things were about to get tight and that’s where the deja vu came in.

The last time we’d been to Pismo, we stayed with A. We also had plans with another friend we’ll call C, but as we drove into town, A called us with the news they’d gotten us tickets to some gala and we had no time to see C. We were between a rock and a hard place with no place to win. We went to the gala (which was not a gala at all, more of a drunken brawl) and missed the time with C. A went on to monopolize the rest of our time, so I never got out to C. My friendship with C cooled to an acquaintance sort of relationship after that (and who can blame her). That was a great loss for me.

I thought I’d learned the lesson I needed to learn. So I booked our hotel before we even told A we were coming. We love her to death, but after living out there for six years, she’s not the only person we love in the area. We thought staying in a hotel would keep her from monopolizing all of our time, but the struggle was not over.

Back to the Present

So, here we were on the backroad to Orcutt. The GPS had been very wrong at estimating our arrival at Orcutt, so our time with Deni was already shrinking and A is on the phone demanding we get our butts to Pismo posthaste. Lesson learned, I wasn’t going to let A’s demands cost me another friend. So I pushed back and made room for Deni. It wasn’t enough time, but my friendship with Deni is longer and deeper, so she got both the rock and the hard place. We chatted for a while, shared a couple of hugs and I got back on the road to Pismo with that friendship intact.

Our dinner with A & B was lovely. We laughed so hard we cried. At the end of the meal, A started trying to organize the next day around their schedule, not ours. It was hard, but I pointed out the brief nature of our visit and the long list of people we needed to see.

Despite my many protestations, I was to call her as soon as I was free the next day. Not to worry by lunchtime she called us and demanded to know when we’d be there. As I had told her at dinner, we weren’t.

The lesson I learned this time was to let A know we are visiting Pismo after we’ve already seen the rest of our friends. I hate that it has to be like that, but it’s that or not have any other friends in the area and I plan on keeping them all.