DESTINATIONS, DFW Metroplex, TRAVEL, WRITING

The Year I Tried Too Hard

Travel Here:  Sometimes Your Plans for Christmas Go Awry

I was asked to participate in a Women’s Program at church.  The pastor’s wife suggested I read a poem or a story that reminded everyone to keep their focus on the reason for the season.  I looked around for something in my library or on the web, but I kept thinking I’d lived the perfect example of getting off track.  So I wrote a poem based on a very funny Christmas Day, that wasn’t quite so funny while I was living through it.  I’ve shared it with the ladies at my church and am now sharing it with you.  I hope you enjoy it.

The Year the Hot Rolls Stole Christmas

T’was a few days til Christmas and I was all ready.
The dinner was ordered and the weather was steady.
I’m not a kitchen hero like my Mother and Aunt.
They’d have done it better, that much I will grant.

Gourmet turkey and fixings, pecan pie and more
Would be waiting for me at the grocery store.
I had made a good plan for a perfect dinner,
Had it gone as I’d planned, it would’ve been a winner.

We know what they say about those good intentions.
How many catastrophes have been their inventions?
My Waterloo started with an innocent request
And a very sweet lady who wouldn’t let it rest.

“Can I help with Jane’s dinner?” Eddie Jo asked my mom,
She meant it for good, of that I have not a qualm,
But it turned into a disaster before we were done
I can say that nothing about it was very much fun.

Eddie Jo’s baking prowess was realized far and wide
At a Baptist church known as Lakeside,
But Mom was the baker’s best friend by a mile,
So she was constantly delivered sweets with a smile.

The urge to say no was strong and most wise,
‘Cause Mom’s freezer was full of Eddie Jo’s cakes and pies,
But mother gave in so she could please her friend
And suddenly my peace was about to end.

“How about some hot yeast rolls?” my mother opined.
She had no desire to be mean, cruel or unkind
In her mind she saw formed rolls ready to bake.
She wanted it easy for her daughter’s sake.

‘That’s a wonderful idea,” Eddie Jo agreed with glee.
She wanted to do something thing for little old me,
But a pan full of rolls was not what she provided
A bowl of dough is on what she decided.

When I called my mom, as was my daily habit,
She told me of the rolls, quick as a rabbit.
In spite of my concerns, I did not a fit pitch,
Even though I realized this was a big glitch

“You’ll need to drop by on the day before,
Even though you’ve got errands and chores galore.
And though I know it’s inconvenient, tell her you’re glad.
Any other response will make her very sad.

So, I rearranged my life to pick up the baking sheet
Of yeast rolls to put into the oven and heat.
That’s what my mom told me that I could expect,
When I picked up the bowl, I thought, “What the heck?”

I heard her instructions wearing a terrified smile,
Feeling I’d been given an unnecessary trial.
I called my mom and was filled with terror
She thought I’d succeed without any error.

Twas the morning of Christmas when I pulled out the dough.
I had to form it into balls, which into rolls would grow.
I hate to sound like I’m being picky,
But that dough, let me tell you, was very sticky.

Then I tried to tame it with a little white flour.
I must have worked on it for at least an hour.
Finally, though I feared to wake Bill from his sleeping,
I had to rouse him, because my sanity was seeping.

I was covered in flour from my head to my toes,
With fingers stuck together and dough on my nose.
My husband thought I was trying to be funny.
He said, “Go away and leave me honey.”

That’s when the held back tears started to fall
And my emotional stability hit the bedroom wall.
It wasn’t a joke poor Bill quickly found out.
It was time to get up or he’d be a lout.

Now I must tell you Bill knew less than me
About making rolls, that was easy to see,
But he had to help me or a wife he’d lose.
Together we searched for sticky dough clues.

The pan of rolls certainly looked like a mess,
But now I was late and needed to dress.
I got other foods started and was filled with hope
That family members wouldn’t think me a dope.

The first to arrive was my beloved Aunt Edie.
I was running late and for her help was needy.
The catered food was not cooking with the promised ease.
She heard my despair and rolled up her sleeves.

Mom and Dad arrived with Susan and Larry,
But by then things in the kitchen were crazy and scary.
The decision was made to open presents first,
But my Dad was hungry and his attitude was the worst.

The delay seemed to fix everything but the turkey.
Aunt Edie decided my oven was quirky.
When it was finally time to eat the rest of food
My dad’s comments had become kind of rude.

The very last step was to bake Eddie Jo’s rolls of yeast,
So we started to cover the table with our feast.
I checked on the rolls every few minutes.
Once again my sanity was at its limits.

We said the prayers and each filled their plate,
As on those yeast rolls we continued to wait.
I went back to the oven and opened the door-
And then my chin fell on the floor.

The oven was cold inside, like it had never been heated!
I certainly felt as if my success had been cheated.
My voice rose with frustration, venom and anger.
Those hot rolls had been a big game changer.

My sweet Aunt Edie had been trying to help
When she turned off the oven, so I couldn’t yelp,
But my holiday dinner was turned upside down
And all of my hopes had become a sad frown.

Twas the day of Christmas and I had certainly failed.
This was not how the birth of Christ should be hailed.
It’s not about yeast rolls or turkey or dressing.
It’s God’s love that we should be confessing.

The problem hadn’t been Eddie Jo’s rolls at all.
It was my own attitude that caused me to fall.
Keep your eyes on the reason for the season this year.
His willing sacrifice gave us nothing to fear.

Gather your family and friends. Give to your favorite cause.
It’s even OK to invite Santa Claus,
But keep your heart tied to what matters most,
The Father , the Son and the Holy Ghost.

2 thoughts on “The Year I Tried Too Hard”

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