TRAVEL HERE: ENJOYING A WOMEN’S RETREAT
I love vacations! All of them! And usually the further I get from home the better I like it. The exception is getting away with the girls. I made the small hop from Dallas to Waxahachie lately, but I might as well have been on the other side of the world, because it was just me and the girls. The occassion was a retreat with the women of my church, but the principle works for mother and daughter getaways, reunions with sorority sisters or just a bunch of girls who get together for a night of chick flicks and popcorn.
- Rule Number One: Be comfortable. Whether your usual wardrobe best befits a soccer mom or a corporate VP, on a girls’ trip, the number one criteria for clothes is comfort. Elastic waitbands, stretch jeans, one size fits all – it’s all good.
- Rule Number Two: The clock is your friend. Unlike the real world where the moving of the clock’s hands mean it’s time for yet another chore or performance, when you’re with the girls, the main function of the clock is to tell you when you’re going to eat again, when nap time arrives and when the yoga class will be, but only if you really want to do yoga.
- Rule Number Three: Food’s your friend, too. Nothing on a girls’ trip has any calories, cholesteral, fat or salt. If you gain any weight while you’re away it’s all water weight. Go ahead and eat the waffles. You want cereal and strawberry blintzes from dinner, fine. There’s nothing wrong with grabbing a snack before dinner, having three helpings at dinner and then topping it all off with a bag of vanilla wafers. That is if you’re willing to share the vanilla wafers.
- Rule Number Four: We’re all in the same boat. There’s no jockeying for position with the girls. Your presense is the price of admission. If the speaker tells you to form a group with the women at your table and discuss any difficulties you may have gaining satisfaction in your sex life, then in five seconds flat we’ll all know each other’s name and begin sharing intimate secrets we wouldn’t tell our doctors. If you’ve known these people your whole life, you met them in the lobby or you were magically transported to the table without previous contact of any kind, group discussion is real, it’s honest and there are no holes barred – NONE!
- Rule Number Five: The Las Vega Rule. What happens on girls’ trips stays on the girls’ trip. You never, ever, under any circumstances, reveal what you did, what someone else did, what you said or what anyone else said on a girls’ trip. If your significant other asks, “What did you do?” The answer is, “Oh, you know girl stuff. What did you do?” This is usually sufficent to distract them from further questions. If if does not, try unhooking their belt. That should do the trick.
There are other rules, but they are girls’ rule. We know them and no one else has to know anything about them. It’s all just girl stuff anyway, right?